I'm Not Dead . . . Yet

Hello, my name is Natasha. Remember me? I used to post here. My last post according to blogspot was May 24, 2010. Update coming soon. Now how's that for a teaser?

The Bachlorette

I really didn't intend on watching this show tonight. I was happily watching DWTS and this just happens to come on afterwards. I haven't watched this show since Trista and her poem writing Ryan hooked up on the Season 1. Some thoughts 1/2 hr into the show:

- I will not be able to suppress my laughter everytime I hear some combination of the phrase: "are you here for the right reasons?" "YOU AREN'T HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS!!!"

- favorite moment so far: when the dudes in one of those limos cheer to "Jake" with blue party cups.

- anytime there's a pro wrestler involved, it's going to be a good time. this dude's stage name is Rated R. And he's a gimp.

- Five guys out of the limo and I'm tired of the giggles. I might not make it to the end of the show.

- This lawyer dude looks sleezy. He ISN'T HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS! I can feel it!

- I love it when she watches them walk in. Totally checking out the meat.

- 15 dudes in. favorites so far: the screenwriter who jumped out of the limo, Rated-R, mr. cubic zaronia. They obviously are here for the right reasons.

- take that back. newest funniest moment: homeboy who wore cowboy boots and thought she wore them on the Bachelor. he obviously IS THERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS.

- other good lines: "i made a scrapbook for her. I even went to a scrapbook store." pansy.

- The dude Kasey from Klovis Kalifornia needs to stop talking like there's a plastic bag over his mouth. Slow down crazy.

- Shooter is an idiot. He ain't going get any cooter.

I wonder what is more sad, the fact that I'm actually watching this show or the fact that apparently I'm so jaded that I can't even feel a twinge of awe. But then again, I spend all my emotional energy making fun of everything and everyone on this show. It takes a lot of energy to FIND OUT WHO IS HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS. doi.

Random Thought

I just got back from Costco and I wanted to share a thought I had while I was waiting in the gas line. Do most cars have their gas thing on the left side (when looking at from the back)? I swear the line is always longer for those who have the gas thing on the left. Which cars have the gas thing on the right side?

Instead of Studying . . .

as I should be. I am planning Miso's new summer do. I (as in my mom, since he attacks all groomers) will be attempting to pull off a lion cut. So from this:




to this:



What do you think? Notice the subtle layering. So chic. I can't wait.

Just a Bookmark for now

I was on SFGate.com and I ran across this article in the "Mommy Files." Don't panic, I'm not preggers, the headline just caught my eye.

Suburban vs. urban moms

Going to the article, here is the lead in: Is there a difference between the mom who lives in Danville and the mom who's raising her family in Noe Valley?

I have to agree with this comment that someone posted in response to the article:

"This should be title White Upper Middle Class Urban Moms versus White Upper Middle Class Suburban Moms. Clearly this was written for and about that demographic"

Is there? I'll come back to this later, as I am at my internship and I want to mentally munch on this for a little. I have always considered myself a city girl who lives in a weird hybrid of a suburb. I can't call SSF a true suburb as it really is right next to SF.

Here is the blogpost that was referenced in the article: http://womoments.com/2010/04/womo-in-the-burbs/




I'll be back. <3>

Trying to Get Back on Karma's Good Side

Just a disclaimer to anyone who reads my blog, I'm going to spend probably the next two or three posts flushing some stuff out of my mind. It probably will be the whiny, fatalistic kinds of posts. But right now, I feel like I need this. I need to flush the shit so I can feel lighter and ready to move on.

Lately, I've been feeling really toxic. I managed to nail down the right word this afternoon so I have to rush and blog before my ADD mind forgets and moves on. What started out as negativity has now turned into toxic-ity (is that as word?) and I know something is wrong because I don't feel bad about it. Most people wouldn't classify me as a negative person or even a mean person, and I will have to agree. I might have negative or mean thoughts but I always felt bad about them afterwards. And that is how I gauge whether my negativity is toxic. Apparently now, I just don't care. This is not good.

Why all the negativity? I'm not exactly sure. Perhaps it's because I'm turning 30 and have accomplished nothing I thought I would. I live at home with my parents (they are lovely so I shouldn't complain too much) and I feel like my life is at a constant state of idle. I don't do idle. I'd rather have Miso poop on me than be idle.

Perhaps it's because sometimes I feel so alone even though I have friends. I love all my friends, but everyone is doing so great and moving forward in their lives I just hate to be the debbie downer. But shit, I am down. Real down.

So dear mr. karma god/goddess, I am sorry for hoping that my ex bf's baby looks like a horse (no, not the ex with the same last name. i hope that baby is cute). I am also sorry for wishing that perky chick at the gym falls on her face on the treadmill. Oh, and I'm really for secretly calling at least 20 people a whore or a douche. While I am at it, I'm really sorry for wishing an accidental pregnancy on someone. Now are we even? B/c as much as kid around, being mean really doesn't have any benefits. It just makes you petty and bitter. And unhappy.

I'm not dead.

So, I've got a little less than an hour before my partnership tax class so I figured I'd stop in and blog a bit. Hello, my five followers. I have missed you even though I talk to most of you on a regular basis.

New Stuff:

I like new country music now. I feel like I have to specify what type of country lest people get confused. I like me some Lady Antebellum, Sugarland and some Carrie Underwood.

I no longer have class on Wednesday nights so I can possibly have a life now. Like a post-work drinks kind of life. The best kind that involves booze.

My bff is getting married and is going slowly insane. But since I love her and hold her hand as I thumb through five million variations of short white dresses on the internets and as I try to convince to her to let me consume more than two drinks before I give my maid of hour speech while wearing my "maid of hour" glittered sash. She is so unreasonable sometimes.

I am going to be dividing my summer between SF and Sac. I am interning for free (b/c that is the only work that I can qualify for) at the Franchise Tax Board in Sac.

I will be graduating from my LLM program this summer.

Miso is turning 6 this summer. I am already planning his birthday.

I know that's not a Papillon but with the weight that Miso has been putting on lately, he's getting close.

Tick Tock Tick Tock

I am suppose to be researching something for my internship but I have decided to take a time out to blog. I think it might be therapeutic.

As I have mentioned in my previous blog, I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately. I don't understand how someone so unemployed and poor can be so busy. I really am the busiest unemployed person I know. Yes, yes, I know. I am a student. It is true. I have class four nights a week and I intern two of those days. But it just feels like everything else in my life is spinning at the same time. I enjoy being busy, I really do. But it has gotten to the point where I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and need a break. Thankfully, after tonight, I will only have class three nights a week. This is how I am going to recuperate. I have made the following list of things to do to relax a little this weekend:

1. Play with the doggies. Perhaps go to a dog park if it's not too rainy.
2. Pay a visit to the creme brulee cart @Fabric8 on Friday.
3. Eat a burrito.
4. Make a batch of cookies for my fun International Taxation class on Thursday.
5. Do my taxes (relaxing only because it's been nagging at me for a while now)
6. Buy something small for myself. Something under $25.00.
7. Read a chapter of the Book of Basketball. <3 you Bill Simmons.
8. Start Season 5 of The Wire.

There. That now I am excited for this week to end. Now I can get back to work. What do you do to relax? Do your relaxing activities revolve around food like mine? <3 you all!

I'm a Talker

I haven't been blogging a lot lately, I know. There are two reasons for this.

First, my life has gotten redonkulously busy. I have classes four nights a week and I intern on Monday and Wednesday. I have dogs and I have family and friends, all of which are not getting sufficient attention. And I have to study. So basically I haven't had the time to apportion (goddamn you State and Local Tax class) the necessary time to blog properly.

Second, I have noticed that I am a talker before a writer. I am a lot better expressing my feelings and emotions through verbal communication. Perhaps this is because in a verbal format, I feel more comfortable adding slang and ungrammatical phrase. Or maybe it's just because I usually talk without thinking, which never happens when I blog. Being a talker first, I feel like I've discussed a lot of potential blog topics with people which makes writing them seem less fresh. I just end up feeling like I'm repeating myself. Maybe I should just keep my potential blog topics to myself and just surprise all five of my readers at once.

But hencehereforth, I will attempt to blog more often. I like to read about my friends lives in their blogs so perhaps I should contribute more to this blogasphere. This shall start today.

By the way, I joined twitter. find me, follow me, love me. Wait until I get internet on my phone and I will be a force to be reckoned with. <3

Lent

It's been a while since I posted - December 28, 2009 to be exact. After a very slow December, life has picked up at such a fanatic pace that I am struggling to keep up. I'm not really complaining because this is so much better than having nothing to do. I just spend more money on caffeine and spend less time with the dogs (sadsies).

I have decided to give up fried foods for Lent. Even though I am not Catholic, I join in on the Lent fun every year. I like to think of it as a mental challenge rather than a spiritual thing. In Lent accomplishments, I believe my record is 1-8. As in, I have only met my Lent goal once. And I think I set my goal real low (gave up Kit-Kats) that year. I even tried giving up friend foods before. I think I gave in one drunk night with a basket full of Villard chicken strips and fries. But this year might be my year. Wish me luck!

Let me Get some Hi-Chews and I'm Outtie

Have you ever been to Daiso? It is basically an amazing store full of so much useless $1.50 stuff it's ridiculous. Not everything is $1.50 but most of it is. They have two of my current obsessions - Hi-Chews and Banana Keepers.

These Japanese candies so sooooo good. They are these rectangular chewy candies that are oh so tasty. I just ate seven of them in a row. My personal favorite is the melon flavor.

Now the Banana Keeper must have been the best Christmas gift I gave this year. My friends Jenny and Wincy loved them. They keep your bananas unsquished and will get people staring at you. What more could you want? They did come in green and yellow, which are Ducks colors I might add.

Banana Bread Success

My second project from my new Baking Illustrated: Banana Bread. The hardest part of this recipe was waiting for the bananas to properly ripen. The one time I wanted fruit to hurry and ripen (to the point of black and squishy-ness), it felt like it took weeks. Either way, I love bread and I really love my banana bread. It was a success and it is almost gone. I am one step closer to baking goddess!

That's the Spirit

This is the extent of my Christmas spirit this year.

Love in Code

I have found that women (myself included) often talk about men in code. More specifically, we often give our boyfriend/significant other/lover/sometimes lover/booty call/one night stand nicknames. The nickname usually corresponds with some sort of distinguishing characteristic of the guy. For example, I dated a guy who was very pale. We called him Paley. I dated a guy who liked to hold my hand. (I don't like holding hands.) I called him Handholder. He became a d_bag. Now I call him D_bag (insert name). <-- not very as subtle as the first one.

I have often wondered two things. First, why do we do this? Second, do guys do this?

A friend of my suggested that she thinks she give them nicknames as a way to avoid intimacy. By calling them something else besides their name, she subconsciously avoid getting to close. Another friend had a more practical reason. She's hooked up with a person at work and doesn't want the other people to know so she uses code. Makes sense. I just think nicknames are fun. They just come naturally when I gossip with my girls.

I've tried to ask a couple of guy friends about whether they give women nicknames. Apparently they don't do it that much. However, I suspect that if they do give nicknames, I'm sure they are more on the lewd end. Or they just call the girl "that crazy chick." I hear that a lot.

My Crazy Friday Night

Okay so I lied. But tonight, I baked my first batch of cookies from the new cookbook Marie got me for Christmas. It's called Baking Illustrated and I love it. It's written by the people from America's Test Kitchen. The first recipe I tried was the Peanut Butter Cookies. I also did a batch with chocolate chips as well. They turned out so very good and that's my crazy Friday night!!!

Sooner or later, I will upgrade from Seasoned Rookie to Neophyte.

Here's a picture from my tonight's creations:

Law and Stuff

So, I was browsing one of my favorite blogs TaxProf Blog (don't judge, I like tax) and I came across this post publishing a survey that Lexis did called the State of the Legal Industry. The most interesting highlight that it had was this:

"One fifth (21%) of law school students say that based on the changing
legal marketplace, they regret attending law school."

There are a lot of times where I can say that I really do agree with that statement. Sometimes I wonder whether I have sold myself to the devil by going to law school. Being held down with the massive amount of debt from law school, I often feel really trapped in my employment options. It's like I have to be a lawyer, or at the minimum be something that will pay me a lawyer's salary in order to fulfill my potential. It's not like right after college where you have a choice to "follow your dreams" and be whatever you want. Instead of providing a path of shining light to the promise land, I have emerged from law school completely unsatisfied with life, really poor, in massive debt and just clueless. That was soooooo not worth the 30K per year in tuition I paid.

Contest!!

As some of you might know, my friend Michelle Woo has a great blog. She is the most famous Michelle Woo there is. Even more famous than the realtor Michelle Woo from Bellevue, Washington. She is one the wittiest, trendiest, and hip bloggers I know. She is in the middle of planning her wedding and is holding a contest for a free $100 Visa card.

Check out the contest: http://www.michellewoo.com/2009/12/10/the-ultimate-wedding-stuff-making-party-%E2%80%94-and-another-giveaway/

You won't regret it.

NY Resolutions

I've been thinking about my new year's resolutions early this year. I know it's a little early but since my goals seem to be a bit lofty this year, I'm going to get a head start. Starting . . . NOW. Here goes:

1. Find a job. Finish school. These things kind of go hand in hand so I put them together. If I do not find a traditional lawyer job by my 30th birthday in November, I am really considering leaving the legal field all together. Perhaps it's just not meant to be. But perhaps it is. We shall see in 11 months.

2. Move out of my parents house. As must as I love the parentals, I refuse to be 30 and living in my parents house. That would just be ridiculous. But I must move close enough where Miso can get free doggie daycare services.

3. Sign up for Chinese class. I've been wanting to learn Chinese for the last 5 yrs. This is the year. I will sign up for online class in the Winter semester and learn the Zhongwen. By the end of the year, I will be able to say ni hao ma without Chinese people cringing at my horrible accent.

4. Be pretty this year. I feel like I've been letting myself slide in the girly department. It might be my obsession with fantasy basketball or football but I need to start paying more attention to myself in the looks department. Perhaps some new clothes? A new look? I'm trying to grow out my hair so maybe that will help a little.

I think those are enough resolutions to follow in 2010. I really want to be realistic in my goals so four is all I can really realistically handle. Wish me lucks peoples.

Week 11 picks

Two excuses. First, I forgot that there was a Thursday night game. So I'll just call that one a loss. Second, the games have just started so I'm going to just hammer some picks out . . . as I watch Alex Smith get sacked.

Cleveland at Detroit (-3) -- Detroit
Buffalo at JAX (-8) - JAX
Pittsburgh at KC (-11) - Pittsburgh
Indy at Ravens (-2) -- Ravens
Atlanta at Giants (-7) -- Giants
SF at Green Bay - (-6) -- SF
Seattle at Minnesota (-11) -- Minnesota
Washington at Dallas (-11) -- Dallas
NO at TB (-10) -- NO
Arizona at St. Louis (-8 1/2) -- Arizona
Jets at NE (-10 1/2) -- NE
Cincy at Oakland (- 8 1/2) -- Cincy
SD at Denver (- 6 1/2) -- SD
Philly at Chicago (-3) -- Philly
Titans at Houston (-4) -- Titans

I used to pride myself on being someone who liked order. I got satisfaction in making lists and always having a plan. Everything felt right when it was scheduled. I have learned that perhaps this aspect of my personality is significantly contributing to my current unhappiness. I never liked not knowing where I was going. I never liked being a relationship that was not convenient. I don't like it when I can't seem to adequately plan for things. I have a plan alright. It's just that I can't seem to follow it.

I don't know where I am going and it bothers me. It's like a weight that presses on my chest every waking moment of my day. I wake up in my room, in my parents house and wonder what kind of life am I living. Yes, this is a debbie downer blogpost but it's my blog and you don't have to read it if you don't want to. I am not happy. Everyday I wake up feeling like something is chipping at my soul. I feel so suffocated.